How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. At first he may say he doesn't want to, but remember, relationships are dynamic. sometimes an ex-boyfriend does want to get back together after a break-up. It's not unusual for a couple to get back together after they've taken time to cool off.

Sometimes he might miss having you in his life and want you back again. Maybe he misses you and starts thinking he made a mistake breaking up with you. Maybe he needed some space but you weren't letting him have it. Sometimes you can get him back, sometimes you can't, that's just life. Couples who break up and then get back together almost always feel an even deeper connection than they did the first time around; they've resolved issues together so the thing that tore you apart is no longer a problem. Your love for each other will deepen once that problem has been overcome. If you still love him it's worth trying. If it still doesn't work out, at least you'll know you tried. Knowing you tried can lessen the pain by keeping you from thinking "I should have tried (whatever.)"

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   Consider why the two of you broke up in the first place. Do you just want him back because you can't handle the idea that he does not want you? Or maybe you just like the idea of having a boyfriend? Or you really do like him? Were you (or both of you) abusive, controlling, mean, possessive, or jealous? Did one (or both) cheat? If any of these things happened, you'll want to think long and hard about going back into that kind of relationship, but if you do still want him back there are things you can do to help make that happen.
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   Avoid being available 24/7. That will only make him think that you're just sitting around waiting for him to call. If you aren't busy, then text him back, if you're doing something, text or call him when you finish. Briefly say something like "sorry I couldn't pick up, I was doing (whatever you were doing)" and don't dwell on it or give details. Just casually mention it, and then go straight into the reason he called. Never make something up when you say what you were doing. For example, if you say you were out with a certain friend, but he saw that friend out doing something, it's over. 78.144.157.6120:43, 16 December 2014 (UTC)
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   Be the person he fell in love with. He was attracted to you because he felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his emotional needs. How have you changed? How has he changed? Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Be positive around him. Laugh and smile. Stay positive and feel good about yourself while making others around you feel good.
   

   • Don't appear to be stuck in the past. He'll know you're moving on when he sees you doing other things, and changing your style. But don't be too drastic in your change. Too drastic means you're not the person he fell in love with in the first place.
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   Choose your first words carefully. The first thing you say to your ex boyfriend is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to re-establish the relationship. Do not react to the breakup by crying and begging him to come back. This will not work. You are just going to make him feel more irritated with you and drive him further away. You need to understand that even though he initiates the breakup, there is a good chance that he still harbors good feelings for you and you can build on that if you don't burn your bridges.
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   Use the past to your advantage. If he complimented a particular outfit, wear it again. Or, share a light-hearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it in a familiar place where you used to enjoy good times together.
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   Listen carefully to his choice of words. He may say something unusual. If he ever uses an unusual or uncommon word, use it also in your conversations, but don't be strangely obvious about it. This puts him at ease when you talk because you and he have a common vocabulary and method of communicating, making any discussion more casual and relaxed. If the word is new to you, don't use it until you've had a chance to look it up. If you use it wrong, you'll seem less intelligent and you'll come across as a pretender.
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   Find out if your ex still cares. Before you try to win him back, be sure you know that he still cares. If he no longer cares, but you're still desperate to get him back, it's not going to work. Knowing that your ex still cares about you is the most important sign that things can still be mended. If you handled the breakup poorly, have acted bad toward him since the breakup, have been rude, critical, argued about his choice to break up in the first place, or stalked him. it will be less likely that he still cares. If you've been mature and caring, he probably still cares for you too.
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   Casually ask if he'd like to do something as friends, like having a drink, attending a sporting event, playing a game you both like, seeing a movie, hanging out at the mall etc. Think of things friends normally do together, not dates. Keep it casual, comfortable, and friendly. If you both have a dog, it might be fun to meet at a dog park for some play time. It's pretty hard to feel bad when you're at a dog park. Act like a friend, not a girl friend. If you do this to just to get a chance to talk to him about the relationship you used to have or to drop hints that you want him back, he'll think you had ulterior motives all along and feel manipulated, because you've shown him that you did in fact blatantly do this even if it wasn't how you wanted to come across. However, if he initiates it while your out, follow his lead but don't get too emotional or try to make him feel guilty.
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   Let him know you have been thinking about him. Maybe mention that one time the two of you went to dinner at that great new restaurant and had a fabulous time. Or leave send him a short email telling him you ate there recently and thought of him. And, by the way, ask how he is doing. There are non-aggressive ways to make conversation, and you need to show him that he can talk about these things with him without making him uncomfortable in any way.
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    Invite him to talk to you. Express regret that things didn't work out between the two of you. Ask him if you can talk now that you've have a break from the relationship and you've both had time to reflect on it.
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    Pay attention to your appearance. If you have been neglecting yourself in that department, get your nails and hair done. Take a nice warm bubble bath, and pick out a nice outfit, but don't go over the top.
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    Be aware of how people perceive you, but don't try to change yourself in an attempt to change their perspective of you. Be yourself and let go of any real concern. Rather, take it as social cue. For example, If people perceive you poorly because you don't wear what they consider the right clothes, so what? It doesn't matter. Just ignore that perception and be confident in yourself. But, if people perceive you as a liar, pushy, manipulative, self-centred, or just plain mean, this is something you really need to work on.
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    If you just broke up give it some time. He will call you if he still likes you. If you think he still likes you, back off and give him time, then gradually work up to re-establishing communication. Mention that you're going to give him some time so he doesn't wonder why you aren't calling, this is especially important if the guy you love is a bit shy or insecure.
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    Remember, no situation is hopeless. Every day, couples get back together regardless of the situation. Not all couples, but a lot. Just be patient and make it easy for him to approach you without feeling nervous, apprehensive, or unsure of how you'd handle it. If he feels comfortable around you, he'll talk to you.
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    Find other things to focus on. If you focus your attention on a new activity, you will have less time to miss your ex-boyfriend. You will feel stronger and more in control of your life. If you are still in contact, your ex boyfriend will notice that you are actively pursuing other interesting activities. If he sees you as interesting, chances are he'll be interested.
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    Don't be jealous. Jealousy is a common reason for a break up. If your boyfriend has always been faithful to you but you get jealous every time he even looks at another girl, you're letting him know that even though he's trustworthy, you don't trust him. Think about it, can you honestly say you've never looked at a hot guy? Looking at someone is normal, we all do it. Never get mad or upset with your boyfriend because he's normal. Jealousy is not an attractive trait in any person. If you really need to say something about it, say something like "she has really pretty hair, but that shirt? ugh, not so much" and let it go immediately.
    

    • If he talks about good times he had with an ex while in your presence, it's not a big deal. It simply means he's comfortable being open with you. Almost everyone has at least one ex. If you expect him not to mention it, you're shutting down healthy communication and letting him know you reject a part of his life and part of who he is. If you let him talk about it, you can learn about some things he likes to do that you haven't done yet. And you can learn about the things she did or said that really made him feel bad. If you know what they liked to do and also what happened to make them break up. you can do those happy things with your boyfriend and make new memories. You also have the advantage of being able to avoid making the same mistakes she did. Jealousy is always toxic to a relationship. Pay attention to "How" he talks about his ex. If he talks nicely and respectfully that means he'll talk nicely and respectfully about you. If he goes into a rant on how bad she was and slams her, one day he will be talking about you the same way. But there is one huge exception... if he compares you to his ex in a negative way, dump him. "She did (something) better" or "I hate when you do (something) it's just like my ex" is never even remotely okay. Run away and never look back.